I'm sitting in CBA 143, a large lecture hell, listening to a lawyer talk about S corporations. There is garbage everywhere. And by garbage I mean Daily Nebraskans. They blanket the floor.
Joe or Jane UNL: "This paper is shit. What a joke. I don't even know why I pick one up. The writers blow. They blow hard, man. The cartoonist couldn't draw a dong on a passed-out guy's face. I'm tired of reading about residence halls and Nebraska football minutiae and prank calls and student government and how the chancellor bought a new tie and, you know, like, education. The editorial board needs to die too. Death by a million paper cuts. I'm not going to throw this paper in the trash can or some recycling bin. Why would I do that? I hate the DN. Let some asshole janitor throw it away. I have texting to do."
My mom said she called it The Daily Rag when she was at UNL in the seventies. The Daily Rubbish was, is, and always will be pure crap. I'd rather watch Disney movies and pork Roseanne than read this "newspaper."
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2 comments:
"Asshole janitor." LOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOOL!!! The filthy scum of the Earth.
Ahhhh, the DN. What fond memories of using it to wipe up vomit, scattered cat feces and the tears of the underaged coeds who swore they had never done anything like that before. They all love anal, but they just didn't know it until I showed them. Oh ya, and covering up aborted fetuses in the dumpster. That was another helpful use.
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